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What do Anna Nicole Smith and Tom Brady have in common?

They both like saggy balls.

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What's the difference between toilet paper and shower curtains?

If you answered "I don't know." I would like to tell you that I spent all day cleaning that mess up.

What do you call a fissure in the earth that houses old Russian rulers who like to mock others ironically?

Tsar-Chasm

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What's the difference between Darth Vader and Tom Brady?

Darth Vader probably gets high fived

What is Tom Brady's favorite opera?

Deflatermaus! (Die Fledermaus!)