Why can I never be a doctor?

Because I don't have any patients

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Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

How much longer do I have doc?

Doctor: "Ten." Patient: "Ten what " Doctor: "Nine..."

What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly.

Patient Jokes More Patient Jokes

Why is that?

Patient: I'm a salesman and I keep selling myself things I don't want.

What are we waiting for?

The doctor asks. "Patients, Doctor," replied the nurse. "Patients."