Why can I never be a doctor?

Because I don't have any patients

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Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

What did the doctor tell the panda bear after the results of his child's paternity test came back?

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the results are a bit grizzly.

What's the difference between a doctor and a chair salesman?

The chair salesman gives YOU a stool sample.

Patient Jokes More Patient Jokes

What did the doctor say to the prosecutor?

You're trying my patients!

Why don't urologists hand out stickers their patients?

Because they are always telling them "You're in trouble"