Why did the chicken get a Ouija Board?

To contact those on the other side.

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What do you call a chicken that can play tennis?

A Henman.

Why did the chicken double-cross the road?

To change sides.

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How bacteria stay in contact while they're in jail?

They exchange cell numbers.

What's your cell phone?

IPhone. - No, I meant the number. - It's a 6. - No, to contact you. - I don't use it for that.