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Why will Michael B Jordan make a bad Human Torch?

Because it's supposed to be the Fantastic Four, not the Fantastic Fo'!

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How's college supposed to prepare you for the real world?

All it does is make you tired and stressed out and anxious and nevermind I get it.

How was I supposed to know I wasn't supposed to cook the macaroni necklace?

Sigh* Parenting is hard.

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What changed to make The Fantastic Four the Fantastic Three?

Nothing.

Why will Michael B Jordan make a bad Human Torch?

Because it's supposed to be the Fantastic Four, not the Fantastic Fo'!