How do you find Calvin Broadus Jr's darkest secrets?

You Snoop, Dogg.

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Why won't you find any gondolas in the Eternal City?

Because Rome wasn't built in a bay.

Why could the crab not find a pair of shoes in his size?

Child labor laws forced all the shoe factories to shut down.

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Why does Snoop carry an umbrella?

Fo drizzle

How does Snoop Dogg get revenge?

Faux pho fo' foe. Served cold of course. I also doubt Snoop has many enemies.