How do you hide money from a Republican?

Hide it in a science book.

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What is the best place to hide a dead body?

On the second page of google.

Why don't you find hippopotamuses hiding in trees?

They're really good at it.

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What's a Catholic's favorite way to send money?

PayPal

What do you call a woman drowning in money?

Rich... Also an ambulance.

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How are the homeless like votes?

Republicans have them thrown out.

Why do Republicans make good DJs?

Because they know how to shut the House down.