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How do you wake up a loafer?

With a shoe horn.

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What does a clever sentry on guard duty say when he wakes up to see his commanding officer standing over him?

Amen

What's long and hard every time you wake up?

Getting out of bed. You never feel like it making hard to get up and you usually take a long time to.

Loafer Jokes More Loafer Jokes

What kind of shoes does bread wear?

Loafers.

What does a baker wear on his feet?

Loafers.