How many conspiratards does it take to screw in a light bulb....?

NONE! ITS A SECRET GOVERNMENT PLOT TO KEEP US IN THE DARK!

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Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

Why couldn't the Engineer Manager screw his wife?

Sorry I don't have the tools, I only supervise.

How many teenage mutant ninja turtules does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. It's a huge problem.

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

Salmon

How many Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, that's a Mexican's job.

Dark Jokes More Dark Jokes

Where is everyone beautiful?

In the dark.

Why the headlight?

Are people vacuuming in the dark or riding them on the freeway & I just havent seen