How many Greek Catholic monks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A Basilian.

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How many ameobas does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. No, two! No, four! No, eight! No, sixteen! No, thirty-two!...

Why couldn't the physicists change the lightbulb?

Too much work.

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How many Bolsheviks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None - the lightbulb has the capacity for its own revolution

How many bears does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

The bear minimum