How many non-sequiturs does it take to change a light bulb?

Yes

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How many roadies does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two, two, two

How many Budists does it take... How many Budists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. The change, if needed, will come from within.

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How many Ferguson police does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they'll just shoot the room for being black.

How many pessimists does it take to change a light bulb?

One, although it's probably screwed in too tight anyway.