What did the barfly say to the other barfly?

I saved you a stool.

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What's the best way to save on toilet paper?

Slow your roll.

What do you call a dog that wisely saves money for retirement?

A 401(K-9).

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What did the proctologist ask the restaurant goer?

Can I push your stool in?

Why the carpenter is always constipated?

Because his stool so hard!