What did the pirate say when he was accepted into flight school?

It's a pilot's life for me!

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How much did is cost the pirate to get his ears pierced?

A buck-an-ear.

What does a pirate with back spasms say?

Shiver me lumbars.

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Why did Nietzche's Shop go out of business?

He accepted eternal returns.

What did the Urologist tell his newly accepted resident?

Urine.