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What do (does?) Rihanna and Onion Rings have in common?

They're both battered.

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Rihanna Jokes More Rihanna Jokes

Why doesn't Rihanna smoke weed anymore?

Because she's taken enough hits.

What's black, red, and blue all over?

Rihanna.

Batter Jokes More Batter Jokes

Who's...(loud crash as a battering ram demolishes the front door)...there?

We're the Ferguson Police Department. We ask the questions.

Whats the first thing a woman does when she gets to the battered shelter?

The dishes if she knows whats good for her.