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What do you call a deaf dinosaur?

Anything you like - he can't hear you.

This joke may have profanity.
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Where in New York City do lesbians most like to live?

Manhatin'

Why was the welder such a gossip?

Because he liked to meddle.

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Why did the acronym buff decide to go join the etymologists instead?

He heard they had PIE.

Why are your nails painted two different colors?

Daughter: Dad. It's an accent color. Dad: ... Dad: Can I hear it