What does a pirate's beard feel like?

Corsair. (works better in a pirate accent)

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

How do government employees wink when they're at work?

They briefly open one eye.

Why did the elephant paint its nails red?

So it could hide in the strawberry patch.... Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch? No? See, it worked!

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

How could you possibly know?

Darth Vader: I felt your presents.

What did the picture say to the Judge?

I WAS FRAMED! I just now made that up. I feel good about this one! Skip