What does an Arctic wildlife photographer get from sitting around too long?

Polaroids.

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What sits at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A drowning epileptic.

How was the movie?

Brian: A real turkey. I could hardly sit through it the second time!

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What happens to eskimos who sit on the ice too long?

Polaroids! I'm so bored...

Why was the Polaroid fanfiction ignored by the photography community?

Because it wasn't Canon.