What is the difference between a football player and a new pimp?

The football player

What is the difference between my ex-girlfriend and a beer?

One is pale, bitter and starts off with lots of head and the other one is a beer.

What's the difference between Donald and a piece of fruit?

Oranges have thick skin. Let the downvotes fly, people! You've only got one! Edit: Did not expect this joke to get this good of a reception. Thanks, guys!

Football Player Jokes More Football Player Jokes

How does a football player make phone calls?

On a touch-down phone.

What did the football say to the football player?

I get a kick out of you.