What's the most popular red wine?

We want our land back!!

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What do the NBA and the presidential election have in common?

There's only two candidates, and nobody wants either of them to win!

What do you call a 5 year old kid with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor All they wanted was books but instead they got magazines

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What's the difference between CNN and Al Jazeera?

CNN shows the missiles taking off and Al Jazeera shows them landing.

What would you call Neil Armstrong had he burnt up in the atmosphere returning to earth instead of landing safely?

An unfortu-naut... God that was horrible....