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What's the worst part about being a railroad conductor?

The training.

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Bad Jokes More Bad Jokes

What's the worst part about being a beaver?

It's a lot of dam work.

Why are these Facebook status updates so much more interesting than usual?

Oh, because this isn't Facebook - it's a mattress label. My bad.

Train Jokes More Train Jokes

What's the difference between a teacher and a conductor on the railroad?

One trains the mind the other minds the train.

Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons?

Because they didn't want to wait 40 years for a train!