Where do you find a down-and-out octopus?

On squid row!

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How do You find the worst joke of the internet?

You reddit.

How did Christopher Columbus find India?

He used Apple Maps.

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What did one octopus say to the other octopus?

Will you hold my hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand

What do you call an octopus that fights sharks?

An octobrave. I'm sorry.