Where do you find a down-and-out octopus?

On squid row!

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How many buzzfeed employees does it take to screw a lightbulb?

Click here to find out!

How do you find the Pun Bar?

You just walk into it

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What family does the octopus belong to?

Pupil: Nobody I know!

What happened to the octopus in the football game?

He had tentackles.