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Where do you find a quadriplegic?

There where you left him.

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Why did the raisin take the prune to the New Year's ball?

Because he couldn't find a date!

How many bugs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, as long as they can find a way in.

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What's the best part of dating a quadriplegic?

Spinning her like a top when she rides you cowboy style.

What did the sorting hat say to the quadriplegic?

Stay here, I'll just go on ahead.