What do you call an egocentric strain of bacteria found in a Chipotle burrito?

ME-coli

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What did the neckbeard wizard use to find his way around Hogwarts?

M'rauders Map

Why do Chinese tourists get disappointed when they visit America?

Because when they buy souvenirs they find out they were made in China.

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What do you call an egocentric strain of bacteria found in a Chipotle burrito?

ME-coli

Which country has the most number of bacteria, viruses, fungus and other micro-organisms?

GerMany

Chipotle Jokes More Chipotle Jokes

What do I look for in a girl?

Well she has to be hot. And well-rounded. And cheesy. Extra guac. Wait, wrong list, this is my Chipotle order.

When Chipotle says, "Guacamole is $1.50 extra, is that ok?

I pause, then say, "Hang on, let me call my financial advisor."