Bacteria Jokes

What do you call bacteria that can swim fast?

Micro Phelps.

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Which country has the most number of bacteria, viruses, fungus and other micro-organisms?

GerMany

What happens to a bacteria when he travels from his home colony to another?

He experiences culture shock.

How bacteria stay in contact while they're in jail?

They exchange cell numbers.

Why Can't you see the bacteria in milk?

Because it gets past-your-eyes (pasteurized)

Where do bacteria go when they die?

St. Petri Dish.

Where do bacteria like to vacation?

Germany

What do you call an egocentric strain of bacteria found in a Chipotle burrito?

ME-coli

Why did the bacteria cross the microscope?

To get to the other slide

Where do the bacteria gangsters hang out?

On the Yeast Side.

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Vacation Jokes More Vacation Jokes

Where do pencils go for vacation?

Pencil-vania.

What is a Minnesotan's favorite state to vacation in?

It's Alaska, don'Juneau.

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

How does a girl vampire flirt?

She bats her eyes.

Why do Russian police officers always work in groups of three?

One of them can read, and one of them can write. The third one is there to keep an eye on the two intellectuals.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get if you cross King Kong with a budgie?

A messy cage.

What do you get when you cross a rock climber with a tsetse fly?

Nothing. You can't cross a scaler and a vector.

Mouth Jokes More Mouth Jokes

What happens if you cross a parrot with a Gorilla?

Nobody is sure but if it opened its mouth to speak you'd listen!

Why did Monica Lewinsky vote Republican?

Because Democrat left a bad taste in her mouth!

Microscope Jokes More Microscope Jokes

What do you call a mouthwash for tiny scientists?

Microscope

Why did the bacteria cross the microscope?

To get to the other slide

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why do they put fences around graveyards?

Because people are dying to get in.

Why do cemeteries have fences around them?

Because people are dying to get in.

Experience Jokes More Experience Jokes

What experience do you have plucking chickens?

Me: See all those hairs on my chin No. Me: Exactly.

What happens to a bacteria when he travels from his home colony to another?

He experiences culture shock.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What time is our movie tonight?

Me: 7:30. It's 2 hours 50 minutes Hub: WHAT! I CANT STAY UP TILL 10:30 "Back off ladies. He's mine"

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Someone who stays up all night, wondering if there is a dog.