Bacteria Jokes

What do you call bacteria that can swim fast?

Micro Phelps.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

Which country has the most number of bacteria, viruses, fungus and other micro-organisms?

GerMany

What happens to a bacteria when he travels from his home colony to another?

He experiences culture shock.

How bacteria stay in contact while they're in jail?

They exchange cell numbers.

Why Can't you see the bacteria in milk?

Because it gets past-your-eyes (pasteurized)

Where do bacteria go when they die?

St. Petri Dish.

Where do bacteria like to vacation?

Germany

What do you call an egocentric strain of bacteria found in a Chipotle burrito?

ME-coli

Why did the bacteria cross the microscope?

To get to the other slide

Where do the bacteria gangsters hang out?

On the Yeast Side.

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Germany Jokes More Germany Jokes

Which country has the nicest children?

Germany. German children are kinder.

How many countries border Germany?

Nein!

Public Place Jokes More Public Place Jokes

Why do bacteria congregate in public places?

It's a part of their culture.

What's the one public place that most people still support the separation of Colors and Whites?

The laundromat.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why was Darth Vader so upset?

He was looking for the Rebels in Aldeerwrong places...

Why are Astronauts seen as condescending?

Because all they do is look down at people.

Petri Dish Jokes More Petri Dish Jokes

What is a bacteria's OTHER favorite dish?

The PETRI dish!

Group Jokes More Group Jokes

What do you call a group of alcoholics with the same name?

Alcoholics synonymous.

What do you call a group of security guards in front of a Samsung store?

Guardians of the Galaxy.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a blonde and an Airbus A380?

Not everyone has been in an Airbus A380.

What is the difference between a Mechanical Engineer and a Civil Engineer?

A Mechanical Engineer makes weapons, a Civil Engineer makes targets.

Experience Jokes More Experience Jokes

Why did the solar wind start having hot flashes?

It was experiencing magnetopause.

How to get a job without experience?

Just run for office!

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road half-way?

She wanted to lay it on the line.

What do you get when you cross a bear and a spider?

A six-legged, honey-lovin', web-spinnin'