Bacteria Jokes

What do you call bacteria that can swim fast?

Micro Phelps.

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Which country has the most number of bacteria, viruses, fungus and other micro-organisms?

GerMany

What happens to a bacteria when he travels from his home colony to another?

He experiences culture shock.

How bacteria stay in contact while they're in jail?

They exchange cell numbers.

Why Can't you see the bacteria in milk?

Because it gets past-your-eyes (pasteurized)

Where do bacteria go when they die?

St. Petri Dish.

Where do bacteria like to vacation?

Germany

What do you call an egocentric strain of bacteria found in a Chipotle burrito?

ME-coli

Why did the bacteria cross the microscope?

To get to the other slide

Where do the bacteria gangsters hang out?

On the Yeast Side.

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Organism Jokes More Organism Jokes

Why did the scientist regret naming the organism "Fungus"?

Because after they hung out Gus was actually a pretty boring guy.

Which country has the most number of bacteria, viruses, fungus and other micro-organisms?

GerMany

Milk Jokes More Milk Jokes

What did the potato ask the cow?

Give me some milk, and we can make mashed potatoes.

What type of milk does Mitt Romney use with his cereal?

The one percent

Public Place Jokes More Public Place Jokes

What's the one public place that most people still support the separation of Colors and Whites?

The laundromat.

Why do bacteria congregate in public places?

It's a part of their culture.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened to the boy-band member who dropped the soap In the prison shower?

Let's just say that his backstreet went more than One Direction.

What happens on the first date with Bill Cosby?

I don't remember

Mouth Jokes More Mouth Jokes

What gets harder the longer it stays in your mouth?

Bubblegum

How are Cigarettes like Hamsters?

They're harmless until you put one in your mouth and light in on fire

Fungus Jokes More Fungus Jokes

Why did a girl leave his boyfriend for a mushroom?

Because he wasn't a fungi!

Why did Mario always bring Toad to parties?

Toad was a fungi.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why don't oysters like to share?

Because they're shellfish.

Why don't Jehovah Witnesses like Halloween?

Because they don't like random people knocking on their doors

Group Jokes More Group Jokes

What do you call a group of yogurt loving boat enthusiast?

A Yacult...

What do you call an elevator with a group of slim, softly spoken, intelligent people inside?

A Lift (only a joke, my American friends)