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Bacteria Jokes

What do you call bacteria that can swim fast?

Micro Phelps.

Birthday State of Mind

Birthday State of Mind

Which country has the most number of bacteria, viruses, fungus and other micro-organisms?

GerMany

What happens to a bacteria when he travels from his home colony to another?

He experiences culture shock.

How bacteria stay in contact while they're in jail?

They exchange cell numbers.

Why Can't you see the bacteria in milk?

Because it gets past-your-eyes (pasteurized)

Where do bacteria go when they die?

St. Petri Dish.

Where do bacteria like to vacation?

Germany

What do you call an egocentric strain of bacteria found in a Chipotle burrito?

ME-coli

Why did the bacteria cross the microscope?

To get to the other slide

Where do the bacteria gangsters hang out?

On the Yeast Side.

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when the fog clears in California?

UCLA

What happened when the orange slept with the dirty lemon?

He got lemonaids.

Petri Dish Jokes More Petri Dish Jokes

What is a bacteria's OTHER favorite dish?

The PETRI dish!

Country Jokes More Country Jokes

What country always follows Zimbabwe?

Zimbab-Bee!

What country most despises cars that run on gasoline?

Mad-at-gas-cars!

Chlamydia Jokes More Chlamydia Jokes

What's the worst kind of media?

Chlamydia

What do Aids, Syphilis and Chlamydia have in common?

Your mom.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What's it called when you go around looking for stuff to buy that's made in America?

Antiquing.

Why do cool guys never look at explosions?

Because they die in them.

Swim Jokes More Swim Jokes

What's a homophobic congressman's favorite place to swim?

In da Nile

Why do squirrels swim on their back?

To keep their nuts dry.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Where do you find the Bible in a library?

Fiction".

How do we know Princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her Head & Shoulders under the steering wheel!

Germany Jokes More Germany Jokes

Why was the horizontal plane judged in Germany?

It was x-axis

Why is it hard to sell bibles in Germany?

Because it's a Nietzsche Market.