Bacteria Jokes

What do you call bacteria that can swim fast?

Micro Phelps.

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Which country has the most number of bacteria, viruses, fungus and other micro-organisms?

GerMany

What happens to a bacteria when he travels from his home colony to another?

He experiences culture shock.

How bacteria stay in contact while they're in jail?

They exchange cell numbers.

Why Can't you see the bacteria in milk?

Because it gets past-your-eyes (pasteurized)

Where do bacteria go when they die?

St. Petri Dish.

Where do bacteria like to vacation?

Germany

What do you call an egocentric strain of bacteria found in a Chipotle burrito?

ME-coli

Why did the bacteria cross the microscope?

To get to the other slide

Where do the bacteria gangsters hang out?

On the Yeast Side.

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Germany Jokes More Germany Jokes

What do they call pastors in Germany?

A. German Shepherds.

Where do bacteria like to vacation?

Germany

Fungus Jokes More Fungus Jokes

What did the mushroom say on his dating profile?

I'm a fungi!

Why is the mushroom so popular?

Because he's such a fungi.

Organism Jokes More Organism Jokes

Which country has the most number of bacteria, viruses, fungus and other micro-organisms?

GerMany

Why did the scientist regret naming the organism "Fungus"?

Because after they hung out Gus was actually a pretty boring guy.

Milk Jokes More Milk Jokes

How do you milk a sheep?

With iPhone periph**e**rals.

Why are cows always broke?

The farmers milk them dry.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What do you call a mushroom that likes to party?

A Fungi!

How do we know God likes condoms?

Because Adam was ribbed for Eve's pleasure

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

What do you call a cow with no eyes?

A cow.

What has six legs two arms four eyes and a tail?

A man holding an aardvark.

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

What does a vulture bring onto a plane?

Carrion luggage

What brings you here?

14.99 per month and a addiction to a game that's been failing since Cata

Microscope Jokes More Microscope Jokes

What did the perverted embryonic scientist say to the microscope?

Are those my genes because I can definitely see myself in them.

What do you call a microscope that when you look through it you see really bad things?

A horoscope.