Bacteria Jokes

What do you call bacteria that can swim fast?

Micro Phelps.

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Which country has the most number of bacteria, viruses, fungus and other micro-organisms?

GerMany

What happens to a bacteria when he travels from his home colony to another?

He experiences culture shock.

How bacteria stay in contact while they're in jail?

They exchange cell numbers.

Why Can't you see the bacteria in milk?

Because it gets past-your-eyes (pasteurized)

Where do bacteria go when they die?

St. Petri Dish.

Where do bacteria like to vacation?

Germany

What do you call an egocentric strain of bacteria found in a Chipotle burrito?

ME-coli

Why did the bacteria cross the microscope?

To get to the other slide

Where do the bacteria gangsters hang out?

On the Yeast Side.

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Vacation Jokes More Vacation Jokes

What book did the rabbit take on vacation?

One with a hoppy ending.

Where do pens and pencils go on vacation?

Pennsylvania

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened to the man who tried to cross a lioin with a goat?

He had to get a new goat!

What happens when a lamppost breaks?

Sorry, repost

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a girl in church and a girl in a bathtub?

The girl in church has hope in her soul

What's the difference between lust, love, and just plain showing off?

Spitting, Swallowing, and gargling.

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

What do you call a fish without an eye?

A Fsh

Why do soviet policemen travel in groups of three?

One to read, one to write, and one to keep an eye on the two intellectuals.

Milk Jokes More Milk Jokes

Why did the milking stool only have three legs?

Because the cow has the udder

What's the difference between America and a bottle of milk?

In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.

Contact Jokes More Contact Jokes

How does Super Mario contact his dead brother?

Using a Luigi board!

Why did the phone keep walking into the wall?

It lost its contacts.

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

Why is 7 afraid of 8?

It's not, numbers don't have emotions.

How many Sandpeople does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

You never can tell. The Sandpeople always ride in single file to hide their numbers.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you call a cross between an elephant and a rhinoceros?

Elephino

What do you get if you cross Doc Brown and Jay-Z?

1.21 JiggaWhats