What do you call bacteria that can swim fast?

Micro Phelps.

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Swim Jokes More Swim Jokes

Why does Mexico always do so poorly in the Olympics?

Anyone who could run, swim or jump made it to the USA.

What do you call a marine who can't swim?

A submarine.

Bacteria Jokes More Bacteria Jokes

Where do bacteria go when they die?

St. Petri Dish.

How bacteria stay in contact while they're in jail?

They exchange cell numbers.