What do you usually find with four Catholics?

A fifth.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?

They don't change it, they just take forever to find where to fit the batteries

How many Iraqis does it take to launch a Scud missile?

Two. One to launch it one to watch CNN to find out where it landed.

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What do a Catholic Priest and second place have in common?

They both came in a little behind.

How do Catholic church priests stay healthy?

They exorcise.

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How much liquor does it take before you start telling racist jokes?

For me, it's about three fifths.

What about the two old ladies who brought a bottle of whiskey to the baseball game?

At the bottom of the fifth the bags were loaded.