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Why can't there be some sort of mathematic formula for making friends?

A squadratic formula, if you will.

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Why did the kid run across the freeway?

To show his friends he had guts. And boy, did he have guts.

What's the easiest way to end a friendship?

Just asking for a friend

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What sort of perfume do snakes prefer?

Poison by Christian Dior!

What is atheism?

A non-prophet religion Edit: Replace the word "religion" with "set of beliefs" if you're picky about that sort of thing