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Why did Tiger Woods get divorced?

Because Tiger was a lion cheetah!

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa?

Santa knows to stop after three Ho's.

What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods?

Santa stops at 3 ho's.

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What did the tiger say to the detective?

I'm not lion. Ill be here all week...

Why doesn't Elin Nordegren ever shop at the fish market?

Because Tiger is always bringing home crabs!