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Why did Vader deceive everyone about his love affair with the Emperor?

Because he was in Sidious.

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Vader Jokes More Vader Jokes

What do Catholic Star Wars fans say?

In the name of the Vader, the Luke, and the Obi-Wan Kenobi

Why can't Vader find a steady relationship?

He keeps looking for love in Alderaan places

Emperor Jokes More Emperor Jokes

What do you call an emperor who's also a musician?

A rock-czar

Where does the Emperor keep all his past dead Sith's gear for display?

The Sithsonian.