How do you tell a chemist no?

Nitrogen Monoxide

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What do you call a snowman who cons people?

A snowfake.

What to you get if you cross a parrot with an elephant?

An animal that tells you everything that it remembers!

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Why did the Chemist give up a singing career?

He could not hit any of the ketones.

Why do chemists love bad jokes?

Their jobs get a lot easier when there are no reactions