How is Jerry Sandusky like a tortoise?

He gets there before the hare

This joke may have profanity.

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What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?

Hare spray.

Why did the bald man draw rabbits on his head?

Because from a distance they looked like hares.

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What did the snail say while riding on the back of the tortoise?

Wheeeee!!!! --hey, at least it's a fun joke for kids!

Why don't tortoises wear scarves?

They have turtlenecks

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How much do you love kids?

On a scale from Casey Anthony to Jerry Sandusky, how much do you love kids?

What's the first thing the pope did after resigning?

Asked Jerry Sandusky for his lil black book.