How is Jerry Sandusky like a tortoise?

He gets there before the hare

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What do you call ten rabbits walking backwards?

A receding HARE line!

Why did the tortoise get arrested?

Because he got there before the hare.

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What did Patrick Stewart say when he was given a tortoise for his birthday?

Please, take it back. I don't like getting attached to animals. Especially when they only live 100 years.

Why don't tortoises wear scarves?

They have turtlenecks

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What did Pink Floyd say to Jerry Sandusky?

Hey, teacher, leave those kids alone!

What's Jerry Sandusky's favorite compound?

What " "A mole ester"