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How is Jerry Sandusky like a tortoise?

He gets there before the hare

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What do you call it when one rabbit challenges another rabbit to hop across a forty-yard canyon?

A hare dare.

What did the magician say when he made his rabbit disappear?

Hare today gone tomorrow.

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How is Jerry Sandusky like a tortoise?

He gets there before the hare

What did Patrick Stewart say when he was given a tortoise for his birthday?

Please, take it back. I don't like getting attached to animals. Especially when they only live 100 years.

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What's Jerry Sandusky's favorite compound?

What " "A mole ester"

What does Jerry Sandusky and a Silver Medalist have in common?

They both came in a little behind!