How many non-humorous people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One

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How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Californians don't screw in lightbulbs, they screw in hot tubs. (I remember this from the 1970s when I was in middle school. It's one of my first dirty jokes)

How many Americans does it take to screw a lightbulb?

None. Their President outsources the job to India.

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How many friendzoned guys does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they'll just keep complimenting it and get mad when it doesn't want to screw.

How many 1st AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Why are you asking me that question Can't you see I'm busy!