How many tickles does it take to get an octopus to laugh?

Ten tickles

Why did Joan Rivers die during throat surgery?

Q: Why did Joan Rivers die during throat surgery? A: Because her career as a comic was stuck, but no matter how he tried, the Dr. Couldn't pull a laugh out of her.

Who was that, your girlfriend?

Everyone laughs* NERD: "Nope. It was yours." *Dead silence*