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What are you taking for it?

Man replies "Pollen"

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How many bitter Hillary Clinton supporters does it take to change a light bulb?

None, we've decided to let a man do the job.

What happened when the man couldn't afford the mortgage on his haunted house?

It was repossessed!

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How many women have you slept with My wife asked me, "How many women have you slept with?

I proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

What's the wheel for?

The pirate replies, "Arrr it's drivin me nuts!"