What'd the homeless guy get for Christmas?

Very hungry.

This joke may have profanity.

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What are Gene Wilder and David Bowie getting for Christmas this year?

Betty White.

What did the banker get for Christmas?

My 401k

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How bad is my career?

I met a homeless guy on the beach in Los Angeles & thought "Wow this guy has it made"

How do you know a homeless woman is menstruating?

If she's only wearing one sock. (This joke brought to you courtesy the homeless guy outside my local 7-11.) Edit: tweaked the punchline.