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What did Gorbachev say when the USSR collapsed?

So ve it.

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When did your parents divorce?

ME: No, they were hoarders, and the second floor collapsed.

What do you get if you cross a spider and an elephant?

I'm not sure but if you see one walking across the ceiling then run before it collapses!

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What's one profession that doctors, lawyers, even the king of Saudi Arabia and the presidents of the USSR and US bow their heads to?

Barbers.

Why didn't the USSR get anything done?

They were Stalin