Collapse Jokes

What did the Mexican say when his house collapsed on him?

Hey, get off me homes!

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What do you call it when a sewer collapses on itself?

Sewercide

Where does it hurt?

Me: *Points to heart* Nurse: Awwww that is so cute! Me. *COLLAPSES FROM HEART ATTACK*

Why did it take so long to find the bodies of the black firefighters after the building they were in caught fire and collapsed?

Cause the building collapsed, duh.

What did Gorbachev say when the USSR collapsed?

So ve it.

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Nurse Jokes More Nurse Jokes

How can you tell which nurse is the head nurse?

She's the one with dirty knees.

What's this bit here?

NURSE: ...his heart ME: Hm. NURSE: Your resume said you were a surgeon ME: My resume says a lot of things

Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

Where does an elephant carry its laptop?

In its trunk.

Why can't two elephants go swimming?

They only have one pair of trunks.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why did the chicken run around screaming?

Because he had to use the bathroom.

What keeps running and doesn't get tired?

A Kenyan child.

Hurt Jokes More Hurt Jokes

What if my knees start to hurt?

Me to instructor: See what I'm up against

Why did the peace-loving incandescent bulb reject the candle and choose the fluorescent lamp as role model?

The fluorescent lamp wouldn't hurt a fly.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What's the difference between someone falling from 21st floor and 1st floor?

21st floor person goes: AHHHHHHHHHH 1st floor goes: AHHHHHHHHHH

What did the drunk Chinese customer say to the bartender?

No have to cut me off. Fall off barstool by myself. end metajoke

Body Jokes More Body Jokes

Why wasn't the Achilles invited into the body?

Because it was already attendin'.

Why do skeletons not go to the disco?

Because they got no body to dance with!

Decade Jokes More Decade Jokes

What happens when a professor teaches for a decade?

He gets Tenyear.

What do you call 5 doctors and nurses on a ship?

A decade Ba dum tish.

Cause Jokes More Cause Jokes

Why is it not a good idea to tell your parents about your failures while they are on an elevator?

It would cause them to be disappointed on many different levels.

What do you call it when a bear makes a complete rotation on both its longitudinal and lateral axes, causing it to follow a helical path?

A bearl roll.