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Heart Attack Jokes

Why do women live longer than men?

Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!

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Who do you call if Everlast is having a heart attack?

Eminem.

Why didn't the American get the burger?

Because the heart attack got him first.

What is the worst time to have a heart attack?

During a game of charades

What happens when an American has a heart attack and survives?

A 'murical.

Where does it hurt?

Me: *Points to heart* Nurse: Awwww that is so cute! Me. *COLLAPSES FROM HEART ATTACK*

Why did the black man have a heart attack?

Afrosclerosis

When is the worst possible time to have a heart attack?

When you are playing Charades.

What will he have?

Student: "A heart attack."

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Charade Jokes More Charade Jokes

What is the worst time to have a heart attack?

During a game of charades

When is the worst possible time to have a heart attack?

When you are playing Charades.

Hurt Jokes More Hurt Jokes

What is ISIS?

They are Radical!!! Please don't hurt me....

What's love?

Me: Well, all the women text you except the one you like. And it hurts, so we drink. Sister: Get away from him!

Heart Jokes More Heart Jokes

Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?

Because it's all heart.

How do you know if someone truly loves fast food?

It has a special place in their hearts

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

Where's the best place in Toronto to check out girls?

Broadview*

What is the difference between a beautiful dress and a bottle of Whisky?

A beautiful dress can make one girl look gorgeous... A bottle of whiskey can make all girls look gorgeous.

Carry Jokes More Carry Jokes

What was the ambulance saying when they were carrying Satoru Iwata?

Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U

What do you call the vehicle used to carry Henry VIII's second wife to the hospital?

An Anne-Boleyn-ce.

Bill Jokes More Bill Jokes

Who's there! Bill! Bill who?

Bill-tup area!

What does a Bills fan do when they win the superbowl?

He turns off his xbox.

Shopping Jokes More Shopping Jokes

Where did the ghost go shopping?

At the BOO-tique

Why do women live longer than men?

Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!

Student Jokes More Student Jokes

Why are you late?

Teacher: Why are you late? Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? Student: No. I was standing on it.

How many retweets to let me take your sister to prom?

A student walks up to his friend a week before prom and asks, "Hey, how many Twitter retweets do i have to get to take your sister to prom?" His friend says, "Dude, she was abducted! She's been missing 3 weeks, you know this!" The student says, "So you're saying if i find her, i can take her?"