Heart Attack Jokes

Why do women live longer than men?

Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!

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Who do you call if Everlast is having a heart attack?

Eminem.

Why didn't the American get the burger?

Because the heart attack got him first.

What is the worst time to have a heart attack?

During a game of charades

What happens when an American has a heart attack and survives?

A 'murical.

Where does it hurt?

Me: *Points to heart* Nurse: Awwww that is so cute! Me. *COLLAPSES FROM HEART ATTACK*

Why did the black man have a heart attack?

Afrosclerosis

When is the worst possible time to have a heart attack?

When you are playing Charades.

What will he have?

Student: "A heart attack."

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Carry Jokes More Carry Jokes

Why does a mother carry her baby?

The baby can't carry the mother.

What's pink has five toes and is carried by the Easter Bunny?

His lucky people's foot!

Survive Jokes More Survive Jokes

How did Warren Buffets company survive the economic meltdown?

It's a trade secret, but don't worry, Berkshire Hathaway

Who survived?

The pilot who jumped out with a parachute.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub?

The nun has hope in her soul!

How does a Redditor greet a woman from Kuala Lumpur?

M'alaydy

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?

Cliff.

Why is Superman wanted by the police?

He is wanted for being the Man of Steal.

Point Jokes More Point Jokes

Why can't a nihilist use a pencil?

Because they cant find the point.

What is the difference between arguing with a knife and arguing with your girlfriend?

The knife has a point.

Burger Jokes More Burger Jokes

Where do you go to get a burger on the internet?

McDownloads!

What do you call a guy that steals burgers?

A hamburglar!

American Jokes More American Jokes

What famous American filmmaker lived in a safe?

Vault Disney

Why are Americans so good at shooting?

They have the best schools for it.

Black Man Jokes More Black Man Jokes

What's long and hard on a black man?

The third grade.

Why won't a black man go see a 3d movie?

He'd rather spend his money on a forty