Why do women live longer than men?

Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!

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Man Jokes More Man Jokes

How can a man go 7 days without sleeping?

Sleep at night

Why did the man drowning in the Nile River think he wasn't going to die?

Because he was in de-Nile.

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

Why do I have to answer security questions to pay my bills?

Ohmygod please tell me there are hackers out there trying to pay my bills....

How do dog catchers get paid?

By the Pound!

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What's the best machine to impress women at the gym?

The ATM

When a woman says "WHAT did you just say?

Say something different.

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

What's worse than a dead lawyer?

A living one.

Why did the orange move to veggieland?

So he could live in peas and hominy.

Bill Jokes More Bill Jokes

Why are ducks always sad?

Because of their bills

Why do women live longer than men?

Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!

Cause Jokes More Cause Jokes

Why can't Elvis Presley drive?

Cause he's dead.

Why was the young strawberry upset?

Cause his mom was in a jam.

Shopping Jokes More Shopping Jokes

Where do Siths do their shopping?

At the Darth Mall

Where does a Sith Lord do their shopping?

The Maul.

Heart Attack Jokes More Heart Attack Jokes

What happens when an American has a heart attack and survives?

A 'murical.

Who do you call if Everlast is having a heart attack?

Eminem.