Why do women live longer than men?

Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!

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Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why don't men have mid-life crises?

They stay stuck in adolescence.

What do you call a man with no arms and legs that falls into a body of water?

Bob.

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

How do you get an art major off your front porch?

Pay for the pizza!

How do dog catchers get paid?

By the Pound!

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What is six inches long has a bald head and drives every woman crazy?

100$ bill

Why is the men's room always located to the left?

Because women are always right.

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

Where do poor noodles live?

In the spaghetto

Where did the engine go after he retired?

To live in a motor home

Bill Jokes More Bill Jokes

Why did Timmy fall off his bike?

Because Bill threw a mattress at him.

How do ducks pay off loans?

With their bills!

Cause Jokes More Cause Jokes

Why is NATO afraid of Russia?

Cause Russia's been Putin them on notice. Just thought of this.

Why is Chapstick so popular?

Cause it's the balm baby!

Shopping Jokes More Shopping Jokes

Where did the ghost go shopping?

At the BOO-tique

Where does a Sith Lord do their shopping?

The Maul.

Heart Attack Jokes More Heart Attack Jokes

Why do women live longer than men?

Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!

What happens when an American has a heart attack and survives?

A 'murical.