Shopping Jokes

Why do women live longer than men?

Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!

April Sale

Birthday State of Mind

$5.99

Where do Siths do their shopping?

At the Darth Mall

Where does a Sith Lord do their shopping?

The Maul.

Where did the ghost go shopping?

At the BOO-tique

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Second Hand Shop Jokes More Second Hand Shop Jokes

Why did the one-handed man cross the road?

To get to the second hand shop.

Why Did The Man With One Hand Go To The Shopping Centre?

To go to the second hand shop

Beyonce Jokes More Beyonce Jokes

What do you call a heavy punch from Beyonce?

A Sasha Fierce!

What did Jay-Z call Beyonce before marriage?

Feyonce

Shopping Cart Jokes More Shopping Cart Jokes

What did the sign say?

Grandkids: No children in shopping cart :((Me: Rules are rules.

What does a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common?

They both can be used to carry vegetables....

Coffee Jokes More Coffee Jokes

Who's the most popular guy in the nudist camp?

The one who can carry two cups of coffee AND a dozen donurs!

What kind of coffee do terrorists hate?

French press. (Too soon?)

Green Light Jokes More Green Light Jokes

What did the Red light say to the Green light?

Don't look at me I'm changing!

How do you spell "SHOP"?

Me: S-H-O-P Friend: How do you say it Me: "Shop" Friend: What do you do when you get to a green light

Shopping Centre Jokes More Shopping Centre Jokes

What do you call a dead gorilla in a shopping centre?

Boko Harambe

Why Did The Man With One Hand Go To The Shopping Centre?

To go to the second hand shop

Tweaker Jokes More Tweaker Jokes

What type of dog did the tweaker have?

A pure bred meth lab.

How long does it take a tweaker to go shopping?

An hour 5 minutes for the Ramen noodles and foil. 55 minutes to fix the squeaky shopping cart wheel.

Group Jokes More Group Jokes

What do you call a group of JD Salingers?

A Humble Hindi Bundle.

What is the collective noun for a group of depressives?

A melancolony