What did Marily Monroe and Lee Harvey Oswald have in common?

They both banged JFK

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What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?

The more you bang it the looser it gets.

Why should a man never bang his best friend?

He'll probably catch fleas

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How do we know JFK was a fan of PDA?

He was all over his wife at the parade

Why didn't JFK ever like vodka?

Because he couldn't handle a few shots