What did the blind, one-legged retarded kid get for Christmas?

Cancer

This joke may have profanity.
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Cancer Jokes More Cancer Jokes

What's worse than finding out that your wife has cancer?

Finding out it's curable.

What kind of cancer does an amnesiac oncologist diagnose?

Adenocarcinoma

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What do Justin Beiber and Christmas trees have in common?

Their balls are only for decoration.

What game do M Night Shymalan's family play at Christmas?

Secret Satan.