What did the rich bald man want before he died?

Heairs.

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Why did the ninja go to college?

He wanted to be a ninja-neer.

What do you call a yak that wants to talk to you about a network marketing opportunity?

A cognac

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How did Sigmund Freud die?

He slipped

Why do police officers keep water in the automobile trunk?

Because they don't want the siren to die.