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What did the rich bald man want before he died?

Heairs.

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What do you call a 20 year old spaceship that whines all the time and never wants to run properly?

The Millenial Falcon.

What were the political views of the librarian?

She wanted open borders.

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Why did Satan keep growing his herb garden even when his oregano died each time?

Because he always had a Hell of a good thyme.

What happens when you die?

Me: You go to heaven. 4: No, I mean when you die, do I get your stuff