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What do conspiracy nuts do to fall asleep?

They count sheeple.

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How did Moses feel after falling for a craigslist scam?

Egypt.

Which pizza shop's business is like it's name?

Dominoes. Falling one at a time.

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Why did the German girl count to three, then cry?

Because her boyfriend was going in.

How did the doctor know Muhammad Ali was dead?

He never got up by the time he counted to 10 Edit: Phrasing