What do conspiracy nuts do to fall asleep?

They count sheeple.

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Why don't Mexicans have BBQ s?

Because beans always fall through the grill.

What did the earwig say as it fell down the stairs?

Ear we go!

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What's the difference between a 100 year old and a 4 year old?

What base you're counting in.

When can you count on a hamburger in an emergency?

When the chips are down!