What do Kim Kardashian, and my girlfriend have in common?

They're both made up.

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Why did the oak tree get his girlfriend pregnant?

Because the state abolished plant parenthood

What did the otter say to his girlfriend?

You are my significant otter.

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How does Kim Kardashian like her eggs?

Over-Yeezy.

What do Hurricane Irene and Kim Kardashian have in common?

They blow the whole east coast and there's videos online.