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What do Lady Gaga and E. L. James have in common?

They both wrote bad romance.

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Why shouldn't you write with a dull pencil?

It's pointless

How do you write an essay that blows people away?

With lots of drafts

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Why did Lady Gaga wear seashells to the VMAs?

Because B-shells were too small.

How do you tell if Lady Gaga is dead?

You poker face!