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What do you call 2 crackers arguing?

White noise.

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What did the spectator say when the magician transformed Dracula into 2?

Miraculous. Edited: tough crowd

What do you call 2 algebraists who marry?

Prime mates

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What do you call a cow who argues with her husband?

A bullfighter!

What about Take Me On?

4 hrs of arguing later "Ok we'll say both. Now let's get perms."