What do you call a cat who watches dirty movies?

A purrvert.

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What noise does a cat make going down the highway?

Miaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow!

Who's there! Cat! Cat who?

Cat you understand!

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Why are there commentators for televised sports?

We can figure out what's going on live, but can't while watching it on tv

Why's the couch smell like pee?

Flashback to me watching The Ring alone Me: *points at son* I think someone had another "accident."