How do you make a cat go woof?

Paraffin and matches.

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Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

How does a cat tell time??

In meowers

What kind of cat should you take into the desert?

A first aid kitty!

Match Jokes More Match Jokes

Why does the bride always wear white?

Because it is good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.

What's the difference between woman's breasts and a box of matches?

The matches are made for adults, but kids constantly grab'em and play with them. The situation is quite opposite with breasts.

Woof Jokes More Woof Jokes

How to teach a cat how to bark?

Pour some gasoline on it and WOOF!

How do you make a cat go "Woof!"?

Soak it in petrol and put a match to it. (This is a joke, not and instruction, Reddit)