What do you call a dog that can find something that's not there?

A Labracadabrador

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What do you get when you cross a philosopher, an insomniac and a dyslexic?

A guy who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog. Infinite Jest, by DFW

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic agnostic who has insomnia?

A person who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog.

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How does Reddit feel about Civil War jokes?

Because personally, I General Lee don't find them funny

What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet?

Wait until he's finished.

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What do you call a magical dog?

Labracadabrador!!!

What do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?

A labracadabrador