What do you call a Vulcan philosopher who only responds in questions?

Spocrates.

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What are you doing with that thing?

The pirate responds: "Arr, its been drivin' me nuts."

What did Darth Vader do when his iTunes stopped responding?

He force quit.

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When you ask me a question, would you prefer the blank stare or the eye roll as a response?

I like to be prepared.

Who's sorry now?

First question on Canadian citizenship exam

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What do you call a Vulcan sheep?

Shbaaaaaaaahk

What does a Vulcan lawnmower need to function?

A spock plug.